


shit, maybe I miss you

by gayvodkalarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Enjoy!, Heartbreak, Hiatus, Love, M/M, Making Up, drunk au cause you know I love those, happy in the end cause larry shouldn’t be sad okay, its sensitive like that, nice, thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 04:03:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17573516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayvodkalarry/pseuds/gayvodkalarry
Summary: hiatus, and the one time harry agrees to go clubbing, is the one time they play louis’ song.





	shit, maybe I miss you

**Author's Note:**

> okayyyy so I actually have a similar theme for ziam that I’ve already written, but I love these kind of themes and there just HAD to be one with larry, so here it is!
> 
> this is an original work of pure fiction. please do not claim it as your own. it has taken me a good amount of time to write this one, and I would not want my hardwork to be claimed without credits. plagiarism is illegal. thank you.
> 
> soooo enjoy! (hopefully)

_One time_. Just one time that Harry decided to accompany Nick to a club, it all happened.

“Come on, Harry! Stop being such a buzzkill, live a little, mate!” Nick had said, and Harry had sighed, shaking his head when he realised that there was no way out of this.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like clubbing, he used to love it, during tour, the lads and him used to go all the time. Good times.

But then, Harry started feeling out of it, during the hiatus.

Nick had patted his back lightly, and told him to get a move on, they were leaving in ten.

*

“Hey, handsome,” a voice spoke in his ear and she was too close.

Harry internally cringed. He felt her drag her fingers down his chest and turned around.

He offered her a small smile and she returned it with a poorly attempted seductive look.

“Hey,” She repeated, fluttering her eyelashes and suddenly, Harry couldn’t stand her.  
“I’ve got to go,”  
He shook his head multiple times and just walked away from her.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Nick said, placing a palm on Harry’s shoulder to get him to stop.

“What are you doing? Did you just walk away?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

Harry shrugged, not meeting Nick’s eyes.

“Harry, are you okay?” Nick asked seriously, forcing Harry to look at him.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Harry said confidently, offering Nick a dimpled smile.

He was good at that. The smile always worked. Even if people didn’t believe his words, they always got distracted by the smile.

Nick smiled back, patting his back as he nodded.  
“Feel the music, man. _Enjoy_ ,” he said, and then he disappeared.

Harry sighed.

He was definitely in for a long night.

*

Two hours into the club, he was drunk, and had ground his hips as an excuse of a dance against so many people, he had lost count.

Right now, his hands were on a petite girl’s waist as her back was flush against his chest and they ‘danced’.

The girl turned around and tried to capture his lips in a kiss but he tactfully moved his head to the side, clutching her waist tighter to make her forget.

She was drunk, he was drunk, and Nick, who was looking at Harry from the bar, was happy because Harry ‘deserved to have fun’ and all that.

Harry excused himself for another drink. The girl pouted but let him go nonetheless.

Harry stumbled towards the bar and grabbed the counter for support.

And then, everyone on the dance floor screamed and hooted and jumped. He figured it was probably some favourite song of the club.

There was a dramatic two beats, and then,

“ _Is it my imagination_ ,”

Everyone was practically singing along.

 And Harry...

Harry further stumbled and clutched the counter tightly, his head spinning and his eyes unfocusing.

It was obvious who this was. He could recognise that voice in his sleep.

Suddenly, he felt out of place, he felt young again, he felt like the sixteen year old Harry, who didn’t know what he was doing, open to explore, his dimpled smile and charming attitude his only weapons.

His head ached, his _heart_ ached, and he had tried so hard to forget, to move on like HE did, but just one line, just one line sent everything crashing down on him.

Harry figured, if he had to drink to forget, he would.

And he did.

If he was wasted earlier, it was nothing compared to how drunk he was now.

He smiled at everything, laughed at everything, danced to _his_ song, but it was all to distract himself from the pain in his chest.

“ _Shit, maybe I miss you,_ ” everyone sang along, and Harry furrowed his eyebrows, stumbling due to the movement of people around him.

It was almost like _Louis_ was singing the song to him. It was a ridiculous thought, because you know, why would he even _write_ a song about him?

When Harry changed his number, Louis didn’t even try to reach out. Writing a song about him was asking for too much.

But his heart ached, as if it was telling him: _it is about you, stupid. The whole song is about you._

And Harry shook his head, he didn’t want such thoughts interrupting his night.

Everyone around him danced, wide smiles on their faces and Harry tried so hard to mirror their expressions, but he just couldn’t do it. Not when Louis said, “ _We were in love, now we’re strangers,_ ”

That line snapped something in him, it was a different wound that opened, and it hurt even more.

He gulped down one more shot and fished his phone out of his pocket.

_were we?_

He typed, and before he could rethink his decision, he pressed ‘send’.

His eyes were bloodshot and it might have looked like he was crying, but in truth, he was just really fucking hammered.

The phone vibrated in his hand and with a blurred vision, he narrowed his eyes at the screen to read the words.

_who’s this?_

It said. And Harry bit his lip. What was he doing? Why was he doing this? After two whole years, why was he spoiling all his efforts?

_were we in love?_

He typed, and walked away from the dance floor, towards the seating area, his phone clutched tightly in his hand.

He practically collapsed on the couch, and ran a hand through his hair.

This was a different emotion. He couldn’t put a name to it. It was somewhere between feeling too much and feeling nothing at all. Nervousness, desperation, heartbreak, regret, numbness, ignorance, frustration, you name it, he was feeling it. What made it worse was that he was feeling it all at once.

His phone vibrated once again.

_is this a prank? i really don’t have time for these, I’m sorry_

It read, and Harry snorted, because really? A prank? And he doesn’t ‘have time for these’? Right.

Harry checked the contact name to see if it actually was the right person he was texting. Pranks were his thing, weren’t they? And he doesn’t have time for them anymore?

_am I just a prank to you? it would make sense since you never actually had the time for me_

And he was ruining everything, he knew, but he didn’t stop. Two years, two whole years of healing, at least attempting to heal, all in vain with this one text message.

_who’s this?_

It read again, and now Harry was crying. His eyes weren’t red because he was drunk, they were red because they were welled up and he felt drained and absolutely terrible.

_you could always tell if it was me. so much has changed, hasn’t it?_

And someone should’ve told him to stop. Nick wasn’t there, Harry didn’t know where he was, but he obviously didn’t expect Nick to babysit him.

There was no reply for a solid minute. Harry groaned in annoyance, irritation, frustration, and too many other emotions he had never felt before and could not name.

Three minutes passed without an exchange of messages, and yes, Harry was counting, he felt terrible.

He was about to throw the phone on the ground to snap it in half but then he had a better idea. An idea which would never come to his head if he were sober. But he wasn’t, and so he did it. He called him.

After five rings, he picked up.

“ _Who’s this?_ ” He said, and Harry sobbed, he hadn’t heard that voice speak in two years.

“ _Hello?_ ” Louis said into the phone, when Harry didn’t say anything in response to his previous question.

“You never loved me,” he said, trying to control his tears as he sniffed helplessly.

The other end remained eerily quiet.

Then: “ _Harry?_ ”

“You lied,” he continued, ignoring the sense of recognition in the other’s voice.

“ _Harry, where are you? Are you drunk?_ ” Louis asked, and Harry could deny it all he wanted, but that was concern in Louis’ voice.

Harry labelled it as pity, for his sake. Louis would never be concerned for him. That was impossible.

“Why do you care? You never actually cared,” Harry pointed out in a hiss, as his urge to punch something became a little more unbearable.

“ _What are you talking about?_ ” Louis asked softly, and he sounded hurt. But he should, he should feel hurt after everything Harry suffered from.

“You never cared, you never loved me, and you lied about—“ He hiccuped, the drinks getting to him.  
“—about everything,” he completed, standing up from the couch and walking to the bathroom.

“ _That’s—That’s not true,_ ” Louis mumbled, and Harry could imagine the expression on the other man’s face. He could imagine the worried furrow of his eyebrows, his pink lips in a tiny pout, his free hand that wasn’t holding the phone running through his hair. He could imagine it all, and he hated that.

“You can’t go around singing that ‘we were in love’,” Harry quoted, locking the bathroom door behind him.

He didn’t have the guts to look into the mirror. He knew he looked like a complete wreck.

“ _Harry, please, you’re drunk. Go home and lie down. Go to sleep,_ ” Louis suggested, and he sounded genuine but Harry rolled his eyes.

“You mean go to sleep so that you can cut the call? So that you don’t have to hear this wrecked ‘stranger’s’ voice again?” He spoke, and the words sounded like he was spitting poison.

“ _Please_ ,” Louis mumbled softly, helplessly, and if he cried, Harry decided that he wouldn’t feel bad.

But then Louis whimpered out a small “ _Harry_ ,” and Harry sucked in a deep breath. Of course he still cared. _Of fucking course_ he did. It would’ve been better if he didn’t.

“It would’ve helped me a lot if I never knew you,” Harry got out, and maybe it was better if those words had stayed in his head, but his drunk mind could never think and now the words were hanging in the air.

“ _Don’t—Don’t say that,_ ” and Harry could hear Louis sniff. He bit his lip.

Harry sighed, sliding down the door of the club bathroom.

“ _Harry?_ ” Louis called when Harry didn’t say anything for a few moments.

“I’m here,” Harry said as a reflex and he could hear the way Louis’ breath stuttered.

They used to do that all the time. Whenever they fought, whenever one of them was sad. Those words were like a reminder to each of them, that the other would always be by their side if something went wrong.

But it didn’t work the last time. It didn’t work the last time they spoke. Two years ago, _it didn’t work._

“I’m sorry, Harry, but I can’t do this anymore!” Louis had shouted, tugging at his hair in frustration as he kicked the leg of the table beside him.

“But I’m here! _I’m here,_ Louis! Why can’t you understand that?” Harry had shouted back, and Louis shook his head, shaking away the tears in his eyes.

The hiatus had taken a toll on them. They were never in the same place; even after signing different record labels, they never got to show the world that they were _together_. That they were one. And Louis didn’t like it. Harry didn’t like it either, but Louis said he had had enough. He had said he loved Harry, but this was too hard for him. Harry couldn’t stop him.

“But you’re not, _you’re not here_ , don’t you get it?” Louis had shouted, and then it had fallen silent as they stared at each other, their chests heaving.

“I’m here,” Harry had whispered weakly, his eyes welling up, mirroring Louis’.

“No,” Louis had whispered back, and shook his head once again.

“No, you’re not, I’m sorry,” Louis had said, and had walked right past Harry, his eyes on the ground as he fled from there.

 

“I’m here,” Harry repeated, more firm this time, and Louis sucked in a breath.

“Just tell me why you left me,” Harry whispered, his knees drawn up to his chest as he sat there, on the bathroom floor, waiting for Louis to answer.

“ _You were too far away,_ ” he said after a minute of silence.

“But I told you I would be there whenever you needed me,” Harry softly replied, sighing.

“ _That’s not always possible, Harry. You were too far away, and I thought we’ll drift apart because of the distances._ ” Louis reasoned, and Harry couldn’t believe him.

“But I was willing to make it work!” Harry said, but he wasn’t shouting. He had learnt a long time ago that shouting didn’t help at all.

“ _It wasn’t going to work, Harry! I knew it wasn’t, and I couldn’t see us falling apart, I thought it was better to let go when we loved each other still,_ ” Louis spoke softly, and Harry knew that Louis felt like he was laying himself bare for Harry. He was finally telling him the truth.

No one said a word for a long time. They only relished each other’s presence, on the phone, as their breaths mingled.

“I never stopped loving you, you know,” Harry spoke hesitantly, and no matter how drunk he literally was, mentally, he felt absolutely sober. He didn’t see how that was possible, but Louis was magic.

“ _You think I did?_ ” Louis countered with a snort, and it was like everything went back to normal. But it hadn’t, and they wouldn’t pretend that it had.

“ _I wrote a song about you,_ ” Louis said softly, as if he was testing the waters, and Harry chuckled.

“Your song is the reason this is happening,” he said, running a hand through his hair, a grimace looking smile on his face.

“ _Yeah?_ ” Louis asked, and Harry could hear the smile in his voice.

He hummed.  
“They were playing it at this club, literally _everyone_ was singing along,” Harry replied, and he couldn’t stop the proud edge in his voice.

Louis chuckled.  
“ _What can I say, I write quite the bangers,_ ”

“Self-praise at its finest,” Harry commented with a snort, and then Louis laughed.

Oh, what he would do to hear that sound in person.

“I wrote a song about you too,” He said after a while, after the fragile laughter had subsided.

“ _I know_ ,” Louis replied, and Harry could actually picture the fond look on his face. That thought made him feel sixteen again, giddy at whatever Louis did.

“Actually, I wrote two,” Harry corrected himself, thinking: _Sweet Creature and Two Ghosts._

“ _Did you now, Harold?_ ” Louis asked, and he had one eyebrow raised, Harry could vouch on that fact alone.

They were looking at it as a competition, it felt like that.

“ _Well, I have one more about you on my album,_ ” Louis countered proudly, and Harry laughed because this was ridiculous.

Were they really competing for who had written the most songs about the other?

“Can’t wait to hear that,” Harry said, and Louis sighed contently, making Harry sigh too.

“ _Can we—Can we try again?_ ” Louis mumbled after another minute of silence.

Harry gulped.

“ _I mean, it’s—it’s okay if you say no. I know you’re hurt, and I’m sorry._ ” Louis added, and his tone made Harry feel like Louis felt rejected.

“No!” Harry almost shouted, making Louis go silent.

“I-I mean, yes, yes, Louis, we can try again.” He clarified, and Louis sighed in relief, making Harry bite his lip.

“ _Okay,_ ” Louis spoke.

“ _But you’re drunk!_ ” Louis said suddenly, his tone urgent.

“Yeah, and?” Harry replied, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pouted in confusion.

“ _What if you forget about this tomorrow?_ ” Louis asked sadly.

“I could never,” Harry said, and he confirmed it by calling Louis the next day and setting a time for them to see each other as soon as possible.

It was fragile, their relationship, and they knew that, but they were strong. Fragile and strong at the same time was impossible and strange, but that was Harry and Louis, everything about them together was impossible and strange.

In a cool way, of course.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! :)
> 
> my twitter: @honeyitsnapchat


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